Jessica Bayliss
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It's a Writer Thing 17: Productivity and Finishing What You Start

9/18/2017

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Happy September, Wonderful Writers! 

Before I get started, a HUGE thanks to Amber Gregg for hosting my  ​It's a Writer Thing series on her lovely site.

It’s been a whirlwind this summer, what with my first time as a Pitch Wars mentor and all the work I’ve been doing on my own books. I finished my second manuscript for the year in August, which was my 11th book in total. Holy moly! But, finishing my latest MS got me thinking about productivity.

I acknowledge that I’m a fast writer, but I owe my productivity to something more important: I practice finishing books.

There's so much to learn.

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​There are a lot of skills to learn to become a professional writer. First off: writing. Like, the actual craft. Then there are query letters and synopses and log lines. What genre is what (and that YA is NOT a genre--grrr.). Another thing we have to learn is how to finish books. We need to build stamina, the stick-to-it-ness, essential to a professional writer operating out there in the big old world.

We’re notoriously good at starting books. Shiny new ideas are the best things ever! So hard to resist, 
​flirting with us from across the coffee house. Keeping us up at night. So how can we be blamed for jumping ship on the current work in progress? I get it. I love all my new ideas, and boy do I have a to-be-written-list burning a hole in my brain. But let’s not forget what comes after the tough middles: the alluring endings! They deserve to be written. We owe it to them not to lose steam halfway through.

But if we let new ideas seduce us, we’ll never learn our process for finishing. I will repeat that and turn it into a statement: All writers need to learn their own process for finishing books. Here’s why.

Think like a marathon runner.

​What do marathon runners do to train? First off, they learn to run. Just the basics: body posture, how to breathe, what to do with their arms. Then they develop stamina, tacking on more miles as they go. They learn to predict their bodies’ rhythms: when the race will get hard, and how hard hard will feel. How do they get through that? They practice different strategies for budgeting their energy, training their breathing, when to take in liquids (and how much). They even eat those little squeezy pouches of sugary electrolytes (which, I sort of want to try). Then they do it again and again. And again.

Pushing through the long slog is just as important as training-up their muscles—more important, perhaps. 
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​And it must be practiced. The preparation is part physical but it’s also hugely mental. As a result of this mental Cross Fit, something very important happens: They learn what to expect. 

Why is that important?

​When they get back out there next time, and when it gets tough, they have figured out what to look out for in their bodies, how to harness their bodies’ power, and how to focus their brains. 

They have a Not-Quitting Process. A Finishing Process. They can say to themselves: This is just like last time, and last time I got it done. I can do that again. 

Writers need that too. 

We need to practice starting, middling (Is middling a verb? Well it is now!), and finishing. And we need to do it with more than one book. Inevitably, the current WIP will start to feel boring. The shine will be off. Maybe we’ll write ourselves into a corner or a whole maze of corners. And, lo and behold, there’s Shiny New Idea winking at us all sultry and pretty. But, like a marathon runner who can predict his rhythms during a race, we need to predict ours when it comes to the marathon of writing a book. 
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And, just like the marathon process, it’s hugely mental. We get so down on ourselves when we get stuck. We beat ourselves up, tell ourselves that we’re not cut out for this. Those thoughts lead to terrible emotions, emotions that lead to the worst thing ever: giving up. And we can’t give up!

​Hopefully this sounds super-logical.​ I mean, if your friend told
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you they were running a marathon today and they’d never trained a day in their life, you’d be like whaaa…? And if they couldn’t do it, you’d be like: “Uh, buddy, you’ve never done this before. Go easy on yourself.” So, why beat yourself up for not finishing a manuscript when that’s a skill that takes learning, too? Don’t beat yourself up; practice.

The learning process, the stamina-building is normal, natural, and necessary. 

Therefore, my biggest motto is: Finish what you start. Everything you start. Then, one day when you’re all successful professional authors and you have deadlines or an editor waiting for an option book, your game will be in place. You’ll be able to say, Yes, I can get that to you INSERT  YOUR DEADLINE DATE HERE. I’ve got a process. I’ve done this before. Deep breath. Here goes.
​And, as always, remember: You can do it! You can write! 
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It's a Writer Thing 16: Revisions - Where the magic happens.

7/25/2017

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Hello, wonderful writers!

I wrote about the Big R—rejection—several months back, but as we get closer to Pitch Wars, I find myself reflecting on the OTHER Big-R: revision. That’s what Pitch Wars is all about, after all. Revision Warriors!

Many authors dislike revisions, but I love the process. And I’ll emphasize that last word: process. So, in order to help inspire everyones’ Revision Warrior Mojo, I thought I’d address some myths about revision.

MYTH 1: The most important part of writing is the drafting process.
A couple years ago, I responded to a poll that asked what authors preferred: drafting or revising. I replied that I liked drafting better, and I meant it, but that was before I wrapped my brain around revisions and the magic that happens during the process. The best parts of my books arise during revisions. I’m a plotter, so I have a strong concept before I start, but revision is where I really see my work for the first time. For that reason, I visualize character and theme in a whole new light. Things emerge that I was too close to see during drafting. Each pass allows me to think about a different aspect of my MS.
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MYTH 2: Revision=editing.
Definitely not. While editing needs to happen, revision is really about taking something that has the rough shape we’re going for and honing it. Revision is where the depth happens. It’s where characters come to life. It’s where theme is uncovered. It’s where those magical layers and details get added. I love author  Susan Denard’s idea of “magic cookies” —the parts of the book you love the most. The parts you can’t wait to write. Maybe even why you wanted to write the book in the first place. 
​Everyone who reads my blog knows I love creative reality TV. So, this time, I’ll draw from cake decorating shows (which I can’t watch too often because, OMG, cake cravings are evil!). You know how they get the cake to a certain point, and it looks really good? The shape is there, the fondant is in place, some detail work has been done. It looks like it’s ready to hand over to the customer. Then the chefs take that foundation and go to town, turning the creation into something truly breathtaking. That’s how I think of revision.

A first draft a cake with the layer of fondant but no detail work. The shape is there and the base color, maybe some embellishment, but that’s nothing compared to what it will be when we’re done.
MYTH 3: If I have to revise my book, that means I didn’t do a good enough job the first time.
Nonononononoooo. Critiques do not equal criticism. If you haven’t read my  mini-series on feedback, you can FIND IT HERE . Getting feedback is never easy. Hell, just knowing someone is reading my book makes me anxious. Even if that person is my mom. (I actually told her that the other day.) That said, feedback is essential. 

Before I move on, I really need to say something. Raise your hand if you wrote a book. Keep it up if you wrote two books. Now three. And four… You get the picture. Writing a book is hard work. Just the fact that you’re at a point where you’ve got an MS that is Pitch Wars-ready (or ready for a critique partner) means you’re doing everything right. 

Competitions like Pitch Wars and critiques from other writers serve as next steps that help us take our work to a higher level. We’re well into the embellishment phase of our cake saga. (I’m talking sugar flowers and candy sculptures and that edible glitter paint stuff.)  
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MYTH 4: Revision=singular.
I usually use the plural because, for me, it’s a multi-step process. I do a pass for big stuff—plot holes, inconsistencies, and scenes I forgot to show. Then there are character passes. Passes for theme, etc. Not to mention the fact that as we really immerse ourselves in revision, we sometimes get the best ideas ever—maybe inspired by something our CP said or from our very own heads. 

Now, this is the part you may not want to hear, but these shiny new ideas often require us to go back and do a major overhaul to our books. But don’t panic, because it’s totally worth it.

My debut novel, TEN PAST CLOSING, is a great example of this latter point. When I was accepted into Pitch2Publication in 2016, my mentor pointed out that some of my chapters weren’t working. Initially, I had many POVs (and I love multi-POV books, don’t get me wrong), but she felt they diluted the story of my two MCs too much. Interestingly, I knew there was a problem with the book; the romance between my MCs wasn’t working. Her input helped me see that I could make better use of that word-count real estate and write in scenes that supported the chemistry between my MCs. This was an exciting revelation for me, because the romance was literally one of my magic cookies. Though it meant swallowing some hard feedback and a commitment to a ton of work, I know that she gave me the input I needed to bring out the best in my book.

MYTH 5: Revision is about finding what isn’t working.
Revision is partly about finding what isn’t working, but it’s also about finding the magic, keeping an open mind and letting the insights wash over you. Remember that beautiful cake that needs all the final detail?

Some people really stress over getting their first draft just right, but I don’t. Though there are stories about authors who plotted so thoroughly they drafted their book in a finished form, this is something that maybe .1% of authors can do. But we don’t need to. (That sounds like an awful way to write a book. I mean, let’s talk about pressure. Right? To aim for perfection right off the bat…) I love knowing I’ll have plenty of shots making my book everything I want it to be. It prevents me from getting too hung up on something that’s not working right at this very minute. I’ll have another chance to nail it, and I trust that the right idea will come to me as I continue to work the process. 

Trust the process. 

It may be messy, but it always gets me there. Even if I’m not having any particular challenges with an MS, I know I’ll be doing a lot of rewrites because I always come up with exciting new ideas once I dig into revisions. Even if I think I’ve just written the best book of all time, and I can’t imagine changing a thing, it happens. Every time. Heck, in my most recently-revised book, I did 3.5 major revisions. So, I start each draft with a mindset of acceptance toward all the extra work I’m going to do, and I don’t sweat it when that work arrives.
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MYTH 6: I need to figure out the whole thing myself.
I had the utmost pleasure of hearing my editor, Alison Weiss of Sky Pony Press, speak at an SCBWI Metro NY workshop this past winter about the beauty of the collaborative relationship. She said that when she’s choosing projects, she specifically looks for ones where she can make a contribution. I love that idea. The incorporation of outside input is an inherent part of the process. It’s supposed to happen. Our editors aren’t cursing the authors whose books need their expert feedback; they want to share in this with us. Once I heard that, I went from being excited to work with her to wanting to jump up and down in the middle of the workshop audience. (I didn’t, though. Dignity remains intact.) And the same thing goes for input from critique partners or workshop leaders or whoever helps you. We need that fresh set of eyes, and it’s fine that they raised questions we never thought of. That’s the whole point; they’re going to see things we didn’t. 

Getting feedback and jumping into revisions is challenging, but it is also the most exciting part of the process. It’s where everything can literally change. It’s where the magic happens. So, whether you’re undertaking the process as part of a competition like Pitch Wars or in response to input from an agent you met at a conference, or a CP, remember: The fact that they came up with stuff you hadn’t thought of doesn’t mean you didn’t do it right the first time. This is a process. It will take several passes to get you there, but that’s just fine. That’s the way it goes. We don’t need to nail it the first time, and we don’t need to do it alone. We shouldn’t go it alone. 

By this time next month, I’ll be elbow deep in MG submissions in Pitch Wars, and I can’t wait.

Until then, remember: You can do it! You can write!
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Stock images by: Laura Ockel, Marcie Douglass, Isaac Chua, & Alice Achterhof on Unsplash. Edited by Jessica Bayliss.
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It's a Writer Thing Post #15: Let's talk about Pitch Wars (don't let unhelpful thoughts derail you)

7/3/2017

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First off, I just want to state for the record (my husband loves to make fun of me because I state many things "for the record,") that I can't believe this post is #15 in the It's a Writer Thing Series! When I first decided to start this, I wasn't sure I'd have enough in my brain to share to keep it going. I know I have at least one more post in me. Next time, I'll be writing about the OTHER r-word: revisions. So check back next month for that.

Secondly, THANK YOU to Amber Gregg for hosting my post on her awesome site about all things reading & writing: Judging More than Just the Cover. She hosts author interviews, posts book reviews, and other articles about writing. It's a great resource.

Now, on to today's post. I will give you a heads-up--it's a longish one this month--but I had 2 goals for this post. 1) to provide inf on the parts of Pitch Wars that people might overlook in the rush to get their submissions ready (e.g., the live calls and the Pimp My Bio) and 2) give some input on participating the competition from someone who's been on the inside.
 
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As a former Pitch2Publication success story, I KNOW what it feels like to be short-listed. I KNOW how amazing it is to read the words: And the next mentee is (YOUR NAME HERE). I want YOU to have that too. So please, do everything you can to help yourself before the submission window begins.
 
Make it impossible for us to not choose your submission.
 
I also know all the negative thoughts that go through the authors’ minds during this process. P2P wasn’t the only competition I entered. I entered several over the years that I was not chosen for, so I know that feeling too. It’s scary to put yourself out there, but I firmly believe that we MUST put ourselves out there, and I also believe the stress is totally worth it.
 
So, in the spirit of combating those negative thoughts now, I’ve listed out the ones that I had back in the day in the hopes that they will help you.
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NEGATIVE THOUGHT #1: I won’t get chosen, so there’s no point in doing ___________ (insert phrase as applicable: writing a synopsis, reading through my manuscript one more time, writing a 35-word pitch, etc.)
 

Get your submission materials ready NOW.

What do you need?: 1) query letter and 2) first chapter (please see Brenda Drake’s blog for more guidelines on short chapters & prologues). You should also prepare: 1) a 1-3 page synopsis and 2) a 35-word short pitch. These are things a mentor may ask for to help with their decision.
 
Yes, synopsis. I know. They’re evil and torture, but they’re the only way to get a feel for the full plot of your book without actually reading the whole book. And I’ll be honest with you, when I entered FicFest, I did not follow this advice. Why didn’t I have a synopsis ready? Because I didn’t think there was any chance in hell that I’d get chosen, and yet one of the mentors loved my submission and wanted to read my synopsis. Oops.
 
YOUR MS SERIOUSLY MIGHT BE CHOSEN.
 
Don’t be like me. Get your materials ready now and you won’t have to frantically throw it together at 11:45PM on a Thursday while trying to scoop frozen cookie dough out of a container. (Don’t judge. I needed something to strengthen me.)
 
NEGATIVE THOUGHT #2: They’re just going to have me revise it anyway.
 
Please be sure your MS is ready. Yes, your whole manuscript. Listen, I know you’re busy. Believe me, I get it. You’ve got lots of obligations, and you may be saying: Why bother killing myself? I won’t get picked. I’ll just get the first few chapters ready to go and call it a day.
 
My response to that, a strangled GAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! The mentors you submit to may want more chapters to help them decide. If your first chapter rocks, but the rest are super rough, they may determine that, though they love your concept, your book as a whole needs too much work to get it ready in time for the Agent Showcase.
 
Not to mention, no one wants to get a request for the first 50 pages and come to realize they never wrote X, Y, or Z pivotal scene. (Clears throat.) That’s a surefire way to find yourself frantically writing away at 11:45PM on a Thursday trying to jam a spoon into a frozen container of cookie dough.
 
So do that work UP FRONT and make it easy for us to pick you.
 
We want to pick YOU.
 
And yes, your mentor will ask you to revise it, but the better a MS is when we start working, the better we can make it by the end. Worst case scenario: your MS isn’t selected, but you have a newly-revised MS that will blow the agents away when you query.

NEGATIVE THOUGHT #3: I don’t need a frozen container of cookie dough because I’ll get all my materials totally set to go. BOO-ya!
 
Listen, cookie dough comes in handy for many life situations. I highly recommend everyone keep some. Just in case. (For example, it’s a great way to celebrate when you get that request for a synopsis.)
 
NEGATIVE THOUGHT #4: I don’t know who to pick as a prospective mentor. There are so many. I can’t do it. Eenie-meenie-miney-mo.
 
Do your research on the mentors. The number of writers who donate their time is astounding (it sort of makes my heart glow &  my eyes get all watery). While they’re all great, there will definitely be some who are better matched for you and your work than others.
 
The Blog Hop starts on July 19th, which gives you two whole weeks to check out all the mentors’ bios, wish lists, and info on their approach to mentoring. Brenda and the other organizers of the competition have made it super easy for you to jump from blog-to-blog. At the bottom of each mentor’s Pitch Wars Bio post, we’ll include links to all the other mentors’ pages (for that age category). They’re numbered with our pictures so it will be easy for you to keep track.
 
Seriously, give your MS the BEST chance of getting chosen by really taking the time to visit each mentors’ blog. Not only that, but come and say hi on Twitter. We want to get to know you. That’s a huge part of the fun. You can join the #PimpMyBio Blog hop and tell us all about yourself. (Do it! It’s fun!) Also, check out the #pitchwars hashtag and look out for the live chats (July 17th through August 1st).
 
NEGATIVE THOUGHT #5: There’s no way THAT AMAZING MENTOR will want to work with ME. 
 
But we do! We do!
 
There are some seriously talented and successful writers in this mix. And, I can tell you from experience getting to know them over the last few months, they’re all wonderful, down-to-earth people. We’re just as excited and nervous as you are.
 
Your submission will literally make our day.
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NEGATIVE THOUGHT #6: If I don’t get chosen, that means I’m not good enough.
 
Not at all! Please don’t self-label. If your MS doesn’t get chosen, that means nothing about YOU. Maybe your MS wasn’t ready, but you—as a person and writer—are good enough. Even if you still have room to grow (and who doesn’t?) as long you keep working, practicing, and getting better, then you ARE good enough.
 
NEGATIVE THOUGHT #7: If I don’t get chosen, that means my MS isn’t good enough.
 
My agent recently did a Twitter Poll, asking the worst news a writer can get from their agent. I selected the option Being Told a MS is Truly Bad. But I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve changed my mind.
 
No MS is truly bad. Why? Because a MS that’s not ready NOW can always be improved. Some writers go so far as to literally open a new doc or Scrivener file and rewrite the whole thing. (I’m not saying you should do that!) My point is, no MS is beyond hope if an author is committed to their concept and is willing to do the hard work to make it awesome.
 
So, maybe your MS isn’t ready YET, but it still may be “good enough” with more work. It may take longer than we have in this competition to get it ready for the agent showcase, though. Or, the mentor may just not be confident they understand what your MS needs to bring it to the next level.
 
Sometimes manuscripts aren’t chosen for other reasons.
 
It may not be quite right for the mentors you sub’d to. You know, that whole subjectivity thing. Sometimes mentors pass on a submission because they happen to know something about trends in publishing at the moment, and they worry that concept might have a rough time in the Agent Showcase. Trends change all the time, though, so a book that might be a tough sell today can be an easy sell in 6 months. I’ve also seen cases where a mentor feels the book is ready now. Remember, this competition is about mentorship; if your MS can’t be improved upon, then go query.
 
Finally, the mentors you sub to may LOVE your book, but they may love another MS too, and at the end of the day, they can only pick one. (That said, it’s not unheard of for a mentor to be so undecided, they opt to take TWO mentees. I’m not saying it will happen, but you never know...)
 
NEGATIVE THOUGHT #8: If my MS isn’t chosen, there’s no point in keeping up on what’s going on with Pitch Wars.
 
Nope!
 
Submitting to Pitch Wars isn’t just about a chance at nabbing a slot, it’s also about learning and building your community. Even if your MS isn’t selected, you still come away with something from being here.
 
Mentors will post on the #tenqueries hashtag, giving tips and suggestions based on the submissions they receive (anonymous, of course).
 
I met a bunch of authors every time I entered a competition. I followed the mentors even when I wasn’t selected. Connecting with other writers is literally the most important thing that helped me progress. There are so many opportunities I wouldn’t have known about (calls for submissions, competitions, resources to become a better writer). Pitch Wars is also hosting a webinar series with tons of different topics on writing.
 
And, don’t forget, if you aren’t selected for Pitch Wars 2017, you can participate in PitMad, a Twitter pitch party, on September 7th.
 
So, your mission (if you choose to accept it): 
1) Get those materials ready.
2) Create a kick-ass affirmation for this process. Need some help? Here’s one you can use: My MS has just as much chance of being selected as anyone else. I will approach this as if I know my MS will be chosen. Pitch Wars Mentors, here I come!
3) Check out the mentors' bios and wish lists in the Blog Hop starting on July 19th, come say hi on the #pitchwars hashtag, hang with us during the Live Chats, maybe join a webinar or two. And don’t forget the #PimpMyBio Blog Hop!
4) Buy some frozen cookie dough OR make some cookie dough and stick that bad boy in the freezer.
5) Eat said cookie dough.
6) Repeat Steps 4 & 5 as necessary.
7) And HAVE FUN!

And, as always, ​You can do it! You can write!
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Be a fire waiting for the wind.

6/11/2017

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It's all in the way you think...

5/14/2017

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It's a Writer Thing 14: Is THIS why you can't finish that book?

3/7/2017

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Hello, Wonderful Writers! Not too long ago, someone in the Electric 18’s group shared a video by Brene´ Brown, Ph.D. I majorly LOVE this woman’s work. In case you’re not familiar with her, she’s a researcher who focuses on studying shame and vulnerability. If you haven’t read her books, I really recommend them all. She talks about how being vulnerable is one of the most courageous things we can do, that vulnerability comes with great rewards, “because vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, trust, empathy, creativity, and innovation.”
 
That’s right.
 
What she’s discovered through her research is that without vulnerability, we cannot create. If we’re going to make art, or put ourselves in the “arena,” as Teddy Roosevelt called it, then there is “one guarantee. You will get your ass kicked. If courage is a value you hold, this is a consequence. You can’t avoid it.” And who does this ass-kicking she speaks of? The critics. There are many kinds of critics (and I highly recommend you hear her talk or read her books for the full discussion), but today I want to focus on one—the worst critic.
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The worst critic, she tells us, is ourselves.
 
I’ve always loved doing art. Drawing, painting, crafts. You name it. Back in my teen years, I did a lot of sketching. There’s nothing like a perfectly-sharpened pencil and a blank sheet of paper. There’s nothing, alright—nothing scarier. I’d sit there, thinking about what I wanted to draw, the tip of my pencil hovering over the page, and I’d be stuck. What if my drawing was a ginormous failure? What if the image I had in my head didn’t match up with what I achieved on the page? What if my subject was sucky or corny or boring? And of course, even though there was no risk of this happening—like ever, because I was never taking my sketch pad out of the safety of my house—but what if someone saw this sucky, corny, boring hot mess of a drawing? In my head, even if I locked up my pad in a steel safe, I could catastrophize until I ended up at school with the sheet of paper somehow magically glued to my butt, unbeknownst to me, out in the world for all to see.

Yeah. It gets scary in there sometimes.

So, what did I do in response to these “gremlins?” I armored-up. I still put pencil to page, but I didn’t draw my own creations. I copied photos or book covers. Someone else already decided those pictures were worth making, so I played it safe and copied them. Sure, I was practicing my skill, and I got better at drawing, but I wasn’t creating. I wasn’t making art. Thinking back now, it would have been better if I had made a terrible version of the awesomeness in my head, even if the outcome was cringe-worthy. Better because it would have been mine. I would have made art.
 
Now, I’m creating a new kind of art with my stories, and I can’t help but wonder if this is the same process that causes us to get stuck. That causes us to stall partway through a work in progress. Are we so afraid of making a sucky, corny, boring hot mess of a book that we can’t create? Is our fear of vulnerability causing us to armor-up so securely that all we do is cut off the natural flow of our wondrous imagination? And all this even before a single soul has laid eyes upon what we’ve written—all except for ourselves. The worst gremlin of them all. 

So what’s a writer to do?
 
Brene´ Brown tells us that we must expect the critics to be there, including the one inside our heads, and that we must be prepared for what they’ll say about us. What’s the worst thing your internal critic tells you when you’re sitting there, fingers hovering over the keyboard? Find out, then tell that voice that you aren’t interested in his or her feedback. Lock those gremlins up in a closet where they belong. If you need to, find a mantra, like a magic spell, to keep them in there. Then, all that that is left to do is WRITE.

​Because you can do it. You can write!

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LINKS:
 Brene Brown Critics Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk
 
Brene Brown Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.com/Bren%C3%A9-Brown/e/B001JP45BA/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1488889332&sr=1-2-ent
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On winning, losing, and learning.

2/11/2017

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It's a Writer Thing #13: Do not fear rejection

2/6/2017

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Hello, wonderful writers! Welcome back to my blog series, It’s a Writer Thing. Today I want to spend some time talking about the dreaded r-word, rejection.
 
some of you may know that back in May I signed with my agent (which you can read about here), and just about a month ago, we received our first offer for the publication of my debut novel (which you can read about here).
 
In the midst of all this, I wrote my 9th short (a silly, horror story), for an anthology. Long story short (no pun intended), it wasn’t selected. (Boo!) But, my dear friend, G Marie Merante’s story was, and you can check out the book, UNLEASHED: MONSTERS VERSUS ZOMBIES, right here. Of course, like any dedicated writer, I sent my piece out to a different market, another anthology. Well, two days ago, that second press rejected my poor little story. So, I sent it right out the next morning to a horror lit mag. A few hours later, I had my third rejection for this piece. That was 2 rejections in about 15 hours. (BTW, I recently counted up my total number of rejections, and I won’t share that tally here, but trust me, it’s a healthy sum.)
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In response to this news, my hubby asked, “What’s rejection like now that you sold your first book.” I pondered that for a moment. My answer was: “It sucks just as much today as it did the first time.” And that’s the truth, 100%. But, I also want to suggest a cognitive reframe, because I also believe 100% that rejections really don’t matter. Not at all.
 
How can that be?
 
In THE ART OF WORK, Jeff Goines defines “The 7 characteristics of a calling,” which include Apprenticeship and Practice. How do these concepts translate into rejection not mattering? First, one quote from Viktor Frankl: “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him…the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”
 
No, I’m not trying to say that it’s the suffering and struggle that we should embrace, but in some regard, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Back to Goines: in THE ART OF WORK, Goines talks about how we need to remember that Apprenticeship and Practice are essential steps in any road to any goal. Thinking about Gladwell’s “10,000 Hours to Mastery” principle, it really takes us a long time to get good at anything.
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When I first started writing, I had a lot to learn, and not just about the craft. Practice is also necessary for all the other skills we need to master. Skills like perseverance. I’ve sung in various choirs on and off since grade school. I had one conductor who’d give us hell when we’d finish a run-through of a piece then immediately break into chatter. He insisted we practice freezing and smiling. “We have to practice that part too,” he’d say. Totally true. On concert day, we’d need that habit to be well ingrained so as not to look unprofessional to our audience.
 
I think of perseverance in writing the very same way. We need to get used to the dreaded r-word because rejection never ends. Even if we become huge successes (and I hope we all do!), we’re still going to face rejection in the form of poor reviews and readers who dislike our work. So we need to practice that part too—sticking with it even when rejection happens.
 
Rejection is just one of the normal, natural, expected, and even necessary steps to reaching our goal. We can’t avoid it, and we shouldn’t fear it.
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How do we make the jump from accepting rejection to not fearing it? Here’s how. Rejection means we’re putting ourselves out there. It means we’re “in it” (to quote my favorite exercise celebrity, Shaun T). The fact of the matter is, the person who publishes the most books is the person who submits the most books for publication. The number of shots we take matters. Simple as that.
 
We can’t wrack up a bunch of yes’s unless we collect a bunch of no’s. In their “How I got my agent” stories, some helpful authors post their query stats. When I 
did comparisons, I learned that 1 full/partial request for every 10 queries sent is actually a really good ratio. In other words, just to get an agent, we can expect approximately 90 passes for every 10 send-me-more’s.
 
And I know what you’re thinking: What about those authors who hit big with their first book? Yes, those folks exist, but they are total outliers. Good for them! But for every story like that out on the internet, there are probably 100 stories about the long, slow slog toward success. The good news is, during that slow slog, we’re doing our Apprenticeship where we’re accumulating those 10,000 hours of Practice. 
 
Back to Goines: He actually calls Practice “painful practice,” and says if you’re not feeling at least a little bit of pain, you’re probably not doing it right. Does this remind you of that Frankl quote? Now, I really don’t wish suffering on any of us, but I think this is immensely powerful because it normalizes the painful part of this journey. It’s normal to feel the sting of rejection. Discouragement will happen. Even tears. (Okay, a lot of tears.) And they’re okay. They don’t mean anything about our chances of success. Or, to turn that around, they mean everything about our chances of success because we’re practicing stamina and perseverance, and we’re “in it.” In the game.
 
This all boils down to my motto: The only way we won’t succeed is if we stop trying. As long as we don’t quit, we can’t possibly fail.
​As always, a HUGE thank you to Amber Gregg for hosting my series on her excellent blog, “Judging More than Just the Cover.” And, never forget: You can do it! You can write!​​
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It's a Writer Thing #12: Goals versus Outcomes

1/10/2017

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Happy New Year, wonderful writers! Welcome back to It’s a Writer Thing.
 
Today, I want to talk about goals. In my work as a clinical psychologist, I help people set goals to improve their health and overcome challenges. I’m a firm believer in making commitments to ourselves, regardless of our life strivings are.
 
But the way we set goals matters.
 
Here’s what I mean. Take someone who is trying to lose weight. Their goal might be to lose ten pounds or twenty pounds or whatever. But actually, number of pounds isn’t actually a goal; it’s an outcome. A goal is something completely different.
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Definitions

Outcome: the long-term thing we’re trying to accomplish through our day-to-day efforts: losing ten pounds, quitting smoking, being more socially-active, writing a book, being a successful author. All of these are outcomes.
 
Goal: the day-to-day behavioral steps needed to reach our outcome.

Applying These Concepts

In the weight-loss realm, a goal might be to cut 500 calories a day or to exercise for 30 minutes, five times a week. This will result in the outcome of fitting into those super-cute jeans.
 
In writing, a goal might be to write every day from 5AM to 6AM and for 3 hours on Saturdays. Or, to write 1k each day. Or five hundred. Or five thousand. If we’re revising, we could aim for one chapter a day or send our MS to three critique partners by the end of the week. For querying authors, an outcome is to sign with an agent. The goal might be to query two new agents each week or to always have ten queries out at any given time. Or to learn how to actually write a query because that’s another totally different skill we must master (and it’s frickin’ hard).
 
These goals can all help us reach the outcomes of writing that novel, getting an agent, and being a published author.
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​WHY DOES THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN OUTCOME AND GOAL MATTER?

​There are two main reasons:
 
1) Outcomes aren’t always behaviorally-driven. In other words, the thing we’re trying to accomplish isn’t directly under our control.
 
We can cut calories at will (even though that’s frickin’ hard too), but we can’t lose weight at will. Whether we shed or gain pounds is due to many complex factors, including our behaviors and processes inside our bodies; we can’t predict exactly how much we’ll lose or how fast.
 
In the writing realm, there is a mind-boggling number of uncontrollable factors, like what others think of our work. We can (and should) always practice to get better, but we can be the best writer the multi-verse has ever seen, and someone will still call our book very bad names. We can’t control when the agent will read our query or whether that editor will request the full.
 
Another challenge of writing is, we can control the number of words we write, but we can’t control how those words will come together to form a story. Or, to be more specific, we can control how the words come together, but it takes many passes to get it right.  That brings me to number two.
 
aviors to be successful. 
2) Outcomes require many steps and sustained effort. In other words, we can’t accomplish them quickly in one day or one sitting, and they require multiple types of behaviors to be successful
​
In weight loss, we have to cut calories, change the kinds of things we eat, and increase our physical activity.
 
In writing, there’s drafting, revising, editing, getting and incorporating feedback. And don’t even get me started on the process of querying and submissions. There are many steps (and sub-steps, and sub-sub-
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​steps, and sub-sub-sub-steps) that are needed to become a published writer. 

IT’S ALL ABOUT MOTIVATION

If our jeans are still tight after a week of effort, or if that book doesn’t simply pour out of our fingers onto the computer screen, it’s easy to quit, to say we’re not cut out for success, or—worst yet—to say bad things about ourselves for not being successful.
 
If, however, we focus on behavioral goals, we stay tuned-in to the small but steady ways we are making progress toward our outcome every single day. If I hit my calorie count, even if my jeans are still making my feet go numb after a week, eventually they’ll fit better. They have to, as long as I don’t give up. If I get my 1k, that book may not be done this week or this month, but it will get done as long as I don’t give up.
 
We need to celebrate our goal-achievement every day. And when we nail it, we have more motivation to hit it hard the next day.
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As always, a HUGE thank you to Amber Gregg for having me on “Judging More than Just the Cover.”  

And, until next time, You can do it! You can write!
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It's a Writer Thing #11: It's all about control

1/4/2017

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​Hello lovely writers! Welcome back to my It’s a Writer Thing mini-series on stimulus control and generalizability. As you may recall, I’m a clinical psychologist, which means I get to take advantage of all those great psychological theories and put them to work for me in my writing, and I want to share that with you.
 
In my last two posts, I talked about the benefit of ingraining a very powerful urge to write by creating a habit. Writing under the same circumstances every day for a few weeks can create stimulus control in which the environment triggers our writing behavior. But I also cautioned that we can sometimes hinder ourselves if we limit our writing to only that special circumstance. We don’t want to limit ourselves! We want to be productive no matter where we are, right? So, to avoid that, once we’ve established a good habit, we need to vary our writing environment (while still sticking with our routine) so we can train ourselves to write under a variety of stimuli. This will allow for optimal productivity.
 ​
Today, I want to add in two new concepts: cognitive control and locus of control.

Definitions

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Cognitive control refers to the way people’s behavior can be driven by mental constructs such as plans, instructions, goals, and prior events. It also refers to the way our behavior can vary in real time, allowing it to change as our plans, goals, and values (etc.) vary. This allows our behavior as a whole to be flexible instead of rigid.
 


Locus of Control: In other words, to whom or what we attribute our success (or failure). Is it because of things inside of us (i.e., internal locus of control) or things outside of us (i.e., external locus of control)?

​How does this all fit in with stimulus control and generalizability?

STEP 1: 
First off, we must recognize that external stimuli impact our behavior. That’s exactly why stimulus control and generalizability work, right? Whether we’re talking writing behavior, eating behavior, study habits, whether we get on Facebook or get to work on that MS instead, we can’t ignore the impact of external factors on what we do. If we try to, we’re losing out on some potentially helpful stuff and maybe even setting ourselves up for failure (like if we minimize the impact of a coworker bringing donuts to work when we’re trying to count calories).
 
So, step 1, just remember that external factors impact us.
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STEP 2:
 External factors don’t have to be the end-all be-all of our behavior. Yes, stimulus control is powerful, but so is your brain. We need to remember that the executive control of our behavior lies within us.
 
All too often I hear people saying things like: 
- I can’t work out today, because I got stuck in traffic. Or 
- There’s no point eating a healthy lunch because I’m going to have an unhealthy dinner. Or 
- There’s no point writing; I’ve only got a half hour and I need at least 45 minutes to make it work. Or 
- Why try to write? My kids are being all loud and making a mess.
 
What do all of these situations have in common? They all are examples of external locus of control. In other words, they’re all examples of situations where we assume the external environment has the ultimate power to decide what we do.
 
Cognitive control is like our trump card, the one that bypasses all of these barriers. By putting the locus of control back inside us, we exert cognitive control. Instead of letting the environment drive our behavior, we can use other important stimuli to drive it instead. Stimuli like: our goals, our values, our decisions, our plans, our prior preparations, the deadline we committed to with our editor/agent/critique partner.
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Stimulus control and generalizability are tools to increase our writing by training our behavior around external stimuli. They’re perfect for helping us get productive. Cognitive control and an internal locus of control mindset are tools to overcome barriers and stay productive even if the environment isn’t aligned in our most optimal set-up.
 
Your comfy chair and tatty robe won’t write your story for you, right? YOU write your story. And you can do it whether you’re in the perfect spot or in your really uncomfortable work clothes or surrounded by a lot of distraction or with a glass water instead of a huge-ass mug of coffee or jazz instead of polka (you know who you are).
 
No matter how powerful the stimuli in our environments, we are always the ones with the executive control. We are in the driver’s seat. We get to veto all the other stuff and put our brains to work for us. So, when I use the mantra shared with me by my dear friend, You can do it! You can write!, I’m literally invoking our powers of cognitive control.
This concludes my mini-series on stimulus control and generalizability. How will you put these powerful psychological tools to work for you and your writing? Feel free to leave a post in the comments and share.
 
Thanks to Amber Gregg for hosting my posts on her fabulous site, “Judging More than Just The Cover,” and don’t forget…
You can do it! You can write!
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