​Welcome, Wonderful Writers. Whether you’re here for the first time or a repeat reader, I’m sure you’ll find something helpful here. And if this IS your first time, be sure to check out my past It's a Writer Thing posts, including this series on writer’s block, my mini-series on receiving feedback, and my other posts on writing-related motivation and productivity. To those of you who’ve been here before: thank you for returning! I LOVED getting your messages and comments on my blog. Knowing that my post spoke to even one writer is the most amazing thing ever, and it really refuels my motivation to keep working on It's a Writer Thing.

Last time, I shared a visualization process for re-envisioning success. At times, we can forget what it is that we love about writing, we can lose sight of the bigger picture, forget what we’re working toward; and that process can help to recreate the strong, rooted connection to our goals and joy in writing. 

Today, I want to change gears a bit. 

​Have you ever started on a project, but found yourself talking yourself out of working on it? Have you caught yourself predicting failure or disappointment before you even begun? Then there’s the dreaded “should,” a word that puts intense pressure on us by insisting that something ought to be this way or not be that way. We might even decide that an agent or editor will hate our project before bothering to query. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve encountered people who’ve decided not to enter a competition or try for a position or sub a story because they assumed they’d be rejected. They took themselves out of the game. They rejected themselves.

Guess what happens when we allow negative thoughts to drive our action? We don’t take that leap. We stay in the exact same place as we were before we started. 

We lose opportunities. 

We don’t grow. 

We get writer’s block.

And we don’t get used to the discomfort that accompanies our attempts to do a truly challenging thing. Because it’s always scary. I think that’s the hardest part to really wrap our brains around. Trying, striving, aiming for our goals, putting our work out there, facing rejection, attempting that next step toward publication—it’s always scary—and unless we grow up to become Stephen King or J.K. Rowling, I don’t see that going away any time soon. (And I bet they still face some scary stuff, too.)

So, what do all these scenarios have in common? They represent scenarios where how we talk to ourselves inside our heads can help or totally hinder us. 

Today, I want to share a process to help you build cognitive resilience.

Notice that I used the word allow above. I really mean that. We can choose to change our thoughts so that we don’t allow the negative ones to be in charge. Our thinking is a behavior that is under our control. Like any habit, it takes practice to change, but it IS possible. Here’s how.

Ever since Dr. Aaron Beck defined the Cognitive Model in the 1960s, research has demonstrated the immense power of our thoughts to drive emotion and behavior. The Cognitive Model says that how we think about a situation is the direct determinant of the emotions we feel; and our emotions determine our behavior or what we do as a result. One way to maintain our motivation no matter what this industry throws at us is to practice catching, checking, and changing unhelpful thoughts.

I’m giving up on querying because agents always say no. 
I’m a terrible writer; look at all these critical reviews. 
I’ll never write as well as they do.

​about reality; rather, I’m suggesting that we recognize that there are multiple ways to interpret any situation and that we don’t need to choose the most negative one. (Tweet this.)

Let’s take that last example; it’s perfect for our discussion of Writer’s Block. If we hold the belief I’ll never write as well as they do, we will be highly critical of everything we put down on the page. We will go back and read and re-read and re-re-read each word. Progress will be slow. Maybe we’ll skip writing all together today. And tomorrow. And all this week. There’s an immediate impact on our productivity, but that’s not all; that thought can haunt our behaviors indefinitely and extend far beyond today’s writing session. For example, the belief that we’ll never measure up might also make us more reluctant to try to improve. We may decide it’s useless to read that new craft book because we’ll never be good enough anyway. We may skip the conference, avoid the agent pitch session, or bow out of a competition that could help us improve. 

​Negative thoughts are like an Uber driver who wants to ignore our destination and take us to some random spot of their choosing. We need to kick them out, get behind the wheel, and get back on  track.

How do you do that? Here we go.

Here’s a research-supported technique—which I tweaked especially for writers—for catching and reframing negative thoughts. I call it TALE.

T: Take notice of the thought.
A: Assess the helpfulness and validity of the thought.
L: Let go of the thought.
E: Enter new thought.

Step 1: Take Notice when negative emotions pop up and ask: What was just going through my mind?

“I’m  feeling frustrated. What was going through my mind?”

​Step 2: Assess the helpfulness and validity of that thought. Is there another way to interpret this situation? Can you put a new spin on it?

“I’ll never write as well as they do.” (Seems pretty unhelpful, huh? This step is all about RECOGNIZING that the unhelpful thought is happening in our heads right this moment and calling it out on it’s BS.)

Step 3: Let Go of the unhelpful thought. Once we’re aware that the thought is unhelpful, we can CHOOSE a different thought instead. We can tell ourselves to let it go, that we don’t need to entertain this thought, remind ourselves that what we think IS under our control. 

Step 4: Enter New Thought: now replace that thought with one that is more balanced and helpful.
“I’m not as skilled as that awesome writer I love today, but I’m working at getting better every day.”

OR

“That writer has their own strengths, but I have my strengths too. My voice is unique.”

OR

“How do I know that I’m NOT as good of a writer as they are? And does it matter? Judging myself right now won’t help me get this book written.”

OR

“This is a first draft. Of course it’s not as good as their book. It’s not supposed to be polished. It’s just supposed to be done.”

As you can see, there are a lot of ways to challenge even one single thought. You can generate multiple examples, just like I did here, and use them all as part of your more helpful inner dialog; or, you can focus on one go-to reframe to get back on track.

​That’s it for this month’s post. Check back next month when I’ll be talking about Craft Overload. And, until then, remember: “You can do it! You can write!”

​Hello, Wonderful Writers and welcome back to It’s a Writer thing! This is post 4 in my Writer’s Block mini-series. So far, we covered the importance of generating the WHYS of writing, how to generate ENTHUSIASM when the fire is dwindling, and how to generate JOY. (You can read all the past posts by clicking HERE.)

As promised, this time around, I’ll be discussing a visual imaging process.

Visual imagery has been recognized as a useful tool for decades. Psychotherapists teach visual imagery exercises to clients, professional athletes use it as part of their training, surgeons employ imagery to prep for procedures, and the list goes on. I once used it to prepare for a big talk I had to give. I first visited the space where the symposium would be taking place. I got up on the podium, looked out on the auditorium, and took a mental picture. Then, when I practiced my talk, I imagined I was standing at that spot. It helped immensely. I approached that day as though I’d already given tons of lectures from that stage, and in some ways I had! In my head.​

​Research demonstrates that by engaging in visual imagery, we activate neurons in our brains—the same ones that fire when we’re actually doing the activity we’re visualizing. On a neuronal level, parts of our brains interpret the images as real. In one remarkable study from the Cleveland Clinic, researchers found that by visualizing sets of biceps curls, subjects increased their strength. Their brains sent signals to their muscles even though they hadn’t lifted a single dumbbell. (This also means that I need to start visualizing myself doing squats …) By the way, this neuronal process is part of the reason reading is as powerful as it is.

I bet we can come up with dozens of examples (and if you have any good ideas, PLEASE share them in the comments), but I’ll share one important one with you today. I want to share a process for using imagery to ENVISION POTENTIAL.

I started off by naming this “Re-envision Success,” but I realize that title wasn’t quite right. This is why. My most emotionally-powerful moments weren’t the “success” moments, not when I got my agent or book deal. They were when I had my first short story accepted, when I got the first voice mail from my agent (the call), when I found out I was selected for a competition much like Pitch Wars, and when I had a full request from an agent back in my query days. They weren’t “you made it, girl!” moments. They were, “all the good things are possible” moments.

​Why is potential so important? Potential is EVERYTHING. The blank page is potential. A brand new book, spine un-cracked, is potential. The same with that brand new journal or planner (I’m such a planner fiend). Every scene is potential. Every time we throw a submission or query out there, it’s potential. We do what we do because of the potential for it to result in success, for the joy of reaching our dreams. Losing the ability to see our potential is like cutting the power to a house. You can’t light anything up anymore. 

If we cannot envision potential in our futures, then we’re an empty, dark house with no power. It’s cold, desolate, uninviting. Scary. It’s wasted potential. 

I’ve experienced this particular barrier to my writing. It came at a time that was particularly stressful for me because several disappointments hit me, back-to-back. The result was, I found I had no motivation to sit down and work on my projects. I didn’t want to even think about writing or books or the publishing world. Then, one day, it hit me what was wrong: I’d stopped being able to see good things coming my way. The series of disappointments left me feeling like all all future outcomes on my writing journey would be bad outcomes.

Once I realized what was wrong, I was able to fix it. Here’s what I did.

1. RECALL MOMENTS OF POTENTIAL. We all have them even though we’re all at different places in our careers. For someone established, the moment might be a really great first review on a book or that moment when you learn that your editor was liking an idea. For someone just starting out, that moment might be a positive comment from a teacher or a critique partner. It might relate to outcomes or feedback OR it might be more linked to our own actions in writing, such as remembering the first time we hit the 1000 word count point or the 50K point. Another HUGE potential moment for me was the day I finished my first draft of my first book. That is still one of the most incredible days of my life.

You may even want to jot down a list of moments of potential to have on hand in case you’re struggling.

2. BUILD A RICH MENTAL IMAGE. Really recreate it. Generate as much detail as you can. Don’t just focus on the visuals. Summon as much sensory detail as you can. Smell the environment (if that relates to your moment). Imagine the sounds you heard that day.  If other people were involved, pull in memories of the conversations or roles they played.

The day I got my first ever story acceptance, we were doing holiday baking. The smell of kolachi filled the house (and probably my mouth), the Christmas lights were all lit on the tree, and holiday music played. Those sensory details will forever be tied up in my memory of that first YES.

3. FEEL IT: Got your image? The next step is to let yourself feel the emotions you had in that moment. Let them fly. This one is the hardest to explain simply because we all feel our emotions differently, and each emotion can feel different during different situations. My excitement the day I got that first story accepted was WAY different than my excitement when I found a voice mail from my future agent on my cell phone. So, whatever the flavor for YOUR potential moment, try to go back and revisit that as deeply as possible.

​4. COGNITIVE PROCESSING: Now it’s time to process the event COGNITIVELY. To do this, ask yourself some questions. Here are a few examples:

What did that moment mean to you? What were your thoughts? How did that moment change your appraisal of yourself as a writer and what was possible for you? What great things did you imagine happening next? What did you feel empowered to tackle next? What, as a result of that potential-moment, did you try and achieve? What domino effect did that one moment have on your life? How might your life be different today if you never tried?

I know that I NEVER thought I could write a book, so when I remember the potential moment of finishing my first novel involves appraisals of this entire new world that was now in my grasp. I was a writer. Holy BLEEP! When I got the first yes, my appraisals were different. There was a sense of validation, a sense that some outside expert had told me that what I was doing was strong. I was on the right track. And, maybe, more YES’s waited for me in my future.

These emotions and thoughts are SO important. These are part of WHY we’re here to begin with. 

5. REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT. For optimal benefit, build a habit. Why wait to lose the mojo to re-envision potential when you can practice daily? The hardest part is building a habit and sticking with it. Daily visualization doesn’t need to take a long time. Literally, 60 seconds of practice can completely change your mood. It can give you that boost you need to sit down to your WIP with excitement. It can mean the difference between working and not working at all. And it costs you nothing but a little bit of time.

Maybe you’re not into daily meditative exercise. If so, then you can …

6. USE VISUALIZATION STRATEGICALLY. The key is knowing your TRIGGERS for pulling out this process. What are good times to try this? When you’re avoiding your WIP. When you receive negative feedback from a CP or an agent. Or a rejection. If you have to scrap a project that’s just not working (though I have some thoughts on that for a future post). When you find yourself comparing your journey to someone else’s. (I have a hypothesis that jealousy comes when we get so bowled over by someone else’s success that we begin to lose sight of our own potential.) And so on and so on …

That’s it for this month. If you try out this process, let me know how it’s going in the comments. Next month, I’ll switch gears and talk about how to look out for the unhelpful thoughts in your head. Until then, remember, "You can do it! You can write!"

Hello, Wonderful Writers. Welcome back to It’s a Writer Thing! Here we are in Post 3 of my Writer’s Block series. Last time, I focused on those situations where the excitement to work on a WIP has fizzled and how to re-ignite enthusiasm; and we covered the importance of gaining clarity as to WHY you write in the first post.

Today, as promised, I’m going to tackle how to generate JOY for your writing. 

This one is actually so simple, you’re going to wonder why I bothered to write a whole post about it. Unlike last time, there aren’t a whole series of steps. In truth, there’s just one: you have to NOTICE the joy.

Yes, that’s it.

Of course, there are some concrete actions you can take to help you get there, but technically, it really is that simple. Thinking about your WHYS, you can certainly pull out joy-inducing motivations for your writing, but as you know, joy within writing presents in many ways. For me, plotting is one of my favorite parts. I’m usually inspired by one thing, maybe a setting or a concept or a situation, and I build everything else around that. I love it when the parts come together, when something clicks, when I figure out how to navigate a problem or fill in a blank spot that was plaguing me. 

But here’s what makes it difficult to connect to the inherent joy of writing on a regular basis. Plotting is a tough thing. It can be laborious and frustrating. In other words, in order to feel the joy, we must also feel the challenging side of the experience. And it’s the fact that it is challenging that makes it so satisfying. This is just one of the PITFALLS that can trap us.

In this situation, the stress of the process could completely override any joy I might derive from plotting if I don’t deliberately engage in mindful reflection about the good side to the process. The same goes for ALL aspects of the writing journey. This brings me to pitfall 1.

PITFALL #1: We can become so bogged down in what’s not working well (e.g., writer’s block or disappointments ) that we lose sight of the fact that this is actually something we love to do, something that brings us joy. OR, we can fall into …

PITFALL #2: we might avoid writing altogether in order to avoid the hard parts, which is like slamming the door in joy’s face.

We may have to wade through a whole pool of muck to get there, but it’s so worthy the effort. (Incidentally, I talked about writers' ability to NOTICE in a recent Instagram post.
​
Before we move onto the ACTION STEPS, I want to mention one more pitfall.

PITFALL #3: There is such a thing as anxiety in the presence of joy. Dr. Brene Brown calls this FOREBODING JOY which she defines as that moment when a joyful emotion is suddenly hijacked by fear, doubt, or worry. She shares the example of feeling joy and love toward our loved ones followed quickly by sudden dread that something bad happening might happen to them. You know that old saying: waiting for the other shoe to drop …? 

When things are good, we are somehow conditioned to immediately be on the lookout for something negative, and that can absolutely squash the joyful moment. 

As a writer, I had a period of writer’s block that was absolutely because of foreboding joy. This happened after an intensive experience of working with an editor on a manuscript. When that work was finished and I returned to a new project, I found myself completely stifled, my writing stilted and unnatural. I couldn’t get to my flow zone—the fingers flying over the keyboard zone—because I even though I loved my project, I kept imagining her voice in my head giving me critiques on everything I was typing. That was a version of foreboding joy. I couldn’t connect to my love of writing because I was anticipating negative reactions to it. And it wasn’t even a thing in the world yet!

Can you see why writers must be vigilant for these pitfalls to our creativity and joy?

​STEP 1: Remember what it is about writing you love. Think about that as you sit down to work on whatever you are about to do. Think about what it is that you find joyful about that particular task. It might be different each time you sit down (e.g., a plotting day versus a revising day; a website maintenance day versus a drafting day). 

STEP 2: Then, as you do that thing, pause periodically to reflect on that. Allow yourself to FEEL the satisfaction and joy that are inherent in these activities.

STEP 3: If you are struggling to remember to pause and NOTICE, it could be that you need to beef up your mindfulness muscles. This is definitely a skill, and some people are better at it than others. The good news is, it’s something we can all learn. You can try something like a traditional body scan, do a mindfulness of the breath exercise, or focus on multiple sensations (I like to first focus on the breath, then zero in on a particular area of the body, then jump to sounds and smells, and to return to the breath to finish).​

​Hello, Wonderful Writers. If you’re here, that means you read the second blog post I wrote in my It’s a Writer Thing Writer’s Block Mini Series. (If not, this post will make a LOT more sense if you read that one first. You can do that RIGHT HERE.)

If you DID read that post, you may be asking, how on earth will those action steps help me get going with my work in progress? Perhaps you’re thinking that those steps are all well and good in the abstract but still wondering how they will help you plow through a block. 

In order to highlight the steps in action, I’ll share how I personally struggled to generate ENTHUSIASM for a project I’d lost my connection with. This resulted in a difficult start, but I followed the steps I shared in my WRITER’S BLOCK MINI SERIES to fuel my enthusiasm. 

​revising something else, a book that I love as well, and one I’d put off to work on other things too often. It was time to finish this one. 

By the time I got around to revisiting my new thriller idea, all my enthusiasm for the book had disappeared. In my head, I still knew that it was important, and I knew I wanted to write it, but that simmering excitement and emotion that had been so strong the night the idea came to me … GONE.

Here’s what I did to re-establish my enthusiasm for this project.

​Even though I always have a scene-by-scene plot when I sit down to start any novel, those first chapters are usually tough. Most of the time it takes me a good 10-20K words to really settle into the voice of any novel. And, in this case, I didn’t even have my plot fully established yet. It felt DAUNTING. I was going to include a main character point of view, a villain point of view, and a few little interludes here and there. 

I defined my first task as simply plotting the MC POV chapters. I’d worry about the rest later. 

​In this case, I chose to remember WHY this book was important to me. I didn’t need to recall my big whys, my whys for even writing at all, because I hadn’t lost sight of those at that moment. I’d just come off edits for something else, so I chose to focus on my whys for writing that particular book at that particular time. The big one was simply that my agent and I had agreed that this would be the next thing I’d focus on, and I wanted to stick to that plan. My writing motor was revving, so it could have been very easy to ditch this book and go to something else, but I’d made an agreement, so I was going to stick with it. 

Second, I already had some of the plot outlined. Plenty of work still awaited me, but it was still way less than if I started fresh with a brand new concept.

The rainbows I was chasing were all the things I’d been so excited about when I first got the idea. I needed to literally generate that creeped-out emotion again. Yes, you’re reading this right. In order to re-ignite my enthusiasm for this project, I literally scared myself. What can I say? That’s how the muse works for me.

I re-read some of the stories and articles I’d found that inspired the idea, and I bought a non-fiction book on one aspect of my plot as research. Between all of that, I generated the emotional experience I had when I was inspired, which is also the emotional experience I want my reader to have when they read it.

The last rainbow for me is the same across all books. Once I break through the slow start and settle into the voice of any project, I enter my personal flow. Flow is that state we get into where we are truly engrossed in our task, so engrossed that we lose track of time and lose ourselves in the act of doing. It’s immensely restorative and one of my favorite things about writing: that feeling that I’m not even thinking about what I’m writing anymore, that the executive part of my brain is taking a break, while I let the story out in a rush. 

When a book starts slow, it’s the knowledge that my flow-zone is waiting for me as long as I push through that allows me to keep going.

​Storm one, I didn’t want to break my plan with my agent. I didn’t want to even imagine what it would be like to tell him that I hadn’t yet started that book we’d both been so excited about. And, I had another HUGE storm to dodge: I was going to write this book as my NanoWriMo project. I have yet to NOT meet my Nano goals, and no way was I going to set that precedent.

​This part wasn’t too hard for this particular book. I got my new project set up on Nano, and just seeing my word count goal there triggered memories of completing Nano in the past. Memories of past successes are a great trigger for envisioning future success. I did have a hiccup in the plotting for this book, though. My first task was just to plot the MC’s story, but once I began working on my villain, I got REALLY stuck. Once again, I thought about past times when I was struggling with something; in this case, I decided to go with a process that’s worked before: write the main plot and trust that what I needed to make my villain work would come to me during that process. 

That’s exactly what happened. 

I forewent plotting the villain for the time being and started writing. One simple element helped me conceptualize what I needed to do with my villain, but I wouldn’t have thought of it unless I first wrote out the MC’s story. To me, this is one of the big paradoxes for plotters: sometimes we have to start even if something isn’t fully conceptualized. In other words, even when we’ve plotted 95% of the book, we still have to be comfortable with a little pantsing here and there.

By the time I was done with all these steps, I was READY to write. It still took me the usual 10-20K words to really settle into the voice, but the ENTHUSIASM I generated was plenty to overcome the slow start I had to wade through to get to my flow. And, by the time I was done, I created a book that contained all my Magic Cookies, I chased each rainbow and dodged all the storms. 

This was an ACTIVE process. The block might have passed on its own, but I didn’t want to wait for that. I recognized I was stuck, decided to take an active approach to reframe my thinking and change my emotions, and then worked through these steps. 

My hope for us all is that we NEVER get stuck, but since I know that’s not terribly realistic, I hope this example helps YOU see how you can use these steps to rekindle lost ENTHUSIASM. 

Hello, Wonderful Writers. Welcome back to Post 2 of It’s a Writer Thing: Writer’s Block Series! This is a long one, so grab your drink of choice, a snack, maybe a blanket, and cozy up.

Last time, I defined the dreaded WB as the inability to make progress on a WIP (which anyone can experience if they’re struggling to make progress in an area of work or life). I shared my viewpoint that WB comes from one or more of any number of basic challenges in MOTIVATION, CONFIDENCE, and/or CLARITY. 

​Last time, we talked about how recalling the WHYS, our own personal reasons for writing, counteracts the negative emotions that arise when we’re stuck. When we’re stuck, we feel terrible, right? Sadness, anxious, frustrated, irritable. This definitely doesn’t help us move forward on big goals like writing a book. Recalling our WHYS of writing addresses barriers in the categories of MOTIVATION and clearly (no pun intended), CLARITY.

GIVEN 1: Thoughts and emotions are inherently linked. I talked about this in last month’s post, and this notion is literally the foundation of cognitive behavioral therapy. Changing our thoughts changes our emotions.

Here’s and example. Years ago, I had a contract for a book with a teeny-tiny press. I wrote the novel (a full 80K book), and I got through multiple rounds of editing, and then—bam!—they closed. Goodbye book.

Of course, it was an immense disappointment, and I could have chosen to focus on thoughts that fueled that emotion: negative thoughts about my abilities, about my luck, about my measly chances for success in the future. Not only would I have experienced disappointment, I would have invited in a whole cocktail of negative, unhelpful emotions: anger, frustration, discouragement, sadness, depression.

Instead, I chose to reframe the experience. Sure, I was still very disappointed, but I focused on thoughts related to what I got out of the experience: essentially, free mentorship from a professional editor, who I very much respect. I learned various editing techniques, practiced writing a book to spec on a deadline, practiced the skill of negotiating revisions I was going to make, and practiced revising on a deadline. Later, when my agent had significant revisions for me on a book, I knew I could do the work because I’d already practiced all the skills needed. 

By focusing on what I gained instead of what I lost, I generated a cocktail of positive emotions: satisfaction, hope (because I was assuming I’d use these valuable skills again), and one of the most important emotions ever, GRATITUDE.

One thing to keep in mind: our thoughts don’t have to be either-or. It’s entirely normal to entertain BOTH the negative ones AND the positive ones. Even if we do that, we will still generate more positive emotions than if we dwell only on the negative thoughts. Right? And, if we practice reframing, we can get better and better at focusing MORE on the positive thoughts, maybe a split—80% focus on positive thoughts and 20% focus on the unhelpful ones.

GIVEN 2: Writers must generate positive emotions toward their work.

Yeah, yeah, the prototypical tortured artist is still romanticized, but I hate that archetype. I don’t think we need to suffer for art. In fact, I believe we should experience the opposite of suffering in anything we claim to be passionate about. This doesn’t mean that writing will never suck. It will. Hard work will always be … well … hard. Marathon writing sessions will be draining, exhausting, and we my hate the world at times; but if this is our passion, our purpose, then underlying all the struggle should be intrinsic joy, fulfillment, satisfaction, and love for what we do. 

We may lose our connection to those positive emotions, though, for various reasons. Writing a book is hard, it takes time, and requires willingness to be quite vulnerable. Often we must delay gratification and face rejection—over and over and over. So, yes, these things cause negative emotions, but all the more reason to learn how to establish a foundation of positive emotions to fuel you in your writing and to get you through The Suck.

So, let’s talk about how to generate ENTHUSIASM.

I’ll start by talking about motivation. I love Miller and Rollnick’s (2012) conceptualization of motivation. They break motivation down into two core facets: Importance (remember last month when we talked about the WHY of WRITING?) and Confidence. Motivation requires both high importance and at least some element of confidence. 

For our purposes, I’ll define ENTHUSIASM as: The emotional translation of IMPORTANCE.

STEP 1: Define your actual task. This is a little bit of it’s own mind-trickery. Thinking of the enormity of writing a book or launching a career as a writer is often overwhelming. So, first we need to just define the one discrete task we need to accomplish right now. It could be: to get two chapters drafted; revise two chapters; send three queries; respond to a week’s email; open that critique (vs. read the whole thing and come up with a plan for revisions); write one blog post. 

Keep this small, just one chunk of the larger whole.

STEP 2: Remember your WHYS OF WRITING. This may seem simple, but this is literally the foundation our writing careers rest upon. You can also get more specific here. WHY do you need to do the specific task you defined? For example, I find my newsletter software to be a struggle to work with, which creates procrastination, but I value the promise I made to my followers to get out a NL as close to monthly as possible, partly because I also promised I’d pick a monthly winner. That’s my WHY for writing my newsletter; I want to honor my promise to give away a chapter critique or a free book to the people kind enough to be with me on this journey. 

Your reason might vary greatly from task to task.

​avoid (storms). Maybe you don’t want to disappoint your agent, editor, or readers by missing your deadline. Maybe you set a goal for yourself, and you want to keep your promise to yourself. Maybe you know that Pitch Wars is right around the corner, and if you don’t get your pages ready, you won’t be able to enter. Again, this list will consist of things common across writers, but also include some storms that are highly personal to you. ​

STEP 5: What are your book’s MAGIC COOKIES? I’ve borrowed this idea from Susan Dennard, author of the WITCHLANDS series, and if you’re not already following her or on her mailing list, you should. She shares a TON of writing wisdom, which you can access RIGHT HERE.

I love her concept of Magic Cookies. She defines this as the parts of your book that you can’t wait to write. Those delicious scenes, moments, or emotions you just dying to get on the page or the emotional experience you want to give your reader. It might be a character you are in love with. It might be the kissing scenes (hehehe). Maybe it’s the setting. (I recently based an entire book on my longings for a Jersey Shore beach vacation. One of my magic cookies was the boardwalk.) Each book should have a list of them, so get brainstorming. Then, make sure you put at least one or two cookies into EVERY SCENE. Don’t wait for the fun parts to come; purposely insert your cookies everywhere. For my Jersey Shore book, in addition to the setting, my cookies included: twists, intense action moments, portraying a toxic interpersonal relationship, more twists. 

STEP 6: Envision Success. One of my biggest writing slumps happened about a year ago, and I realized as I was coming out of it that one of my big problems was I’d stopped being able to envision future success in my career. I’d been wallowing in The Suck for too long, and it created that negative emotion cocktail I mentioned earlier. Needless to say, I turned that around as soon as I got wise to myself.

When I say ENVISION success, I mean just that. We must create a mental representation of reaching our goals. You can make this as detailed as you like. For some, this step involves literally mental imagery (e.g., imaging typing THE END on your WIP or signing your name to that representation agreement). For others, it might involve journaling or even speaking aloud to oneself about the success you’re going to achieve. The important thing is that we do it. Inability to see ourselves actually reaching our goal can be a big subconscious barrier to achieving it. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Does this sound silly to you? It can feel silly, sitting there, picturing your first book-signing or practicing verbally pitching a book you haven’t even written yet, but there is a TON of research on how imagery and mental rehearsal work on the brain and how these, along with self-talk, can have a positive impact on performance. That said, you need to figure out the best way to envision success for YOU. Once you’ve figured that out, set aside time every day—even just five minutes—to engage in your personal exercise.

​You may find you want to try all six steps today, but it’s not necessary to do them all every time. One or more of the steps above may work better for you than others, OR they may work better under certain circumstances. (I find that remembering the STORMS I’m DODGING helps me generate enthusiasm for specific tasks, while recalling my RAINBOWS and ENVISIONING SUCCESS are better at helping me cope with disappointments, like rejection.) Once again, the key is developing YOUR PRACTICE for fueling ENTHUSIASM.

That’s it for this month. I hope these action steps allow you to generate legit momentum-building ENTHUSIASM for whatever you’re working on at the moment. And remember, these steps are applicable to any goal you might be working on, not only writing. Next time, we’ll talk about the next emotion, JOY.

References:

Miller, WR & Rollnick, S (2012). Motivational Interviewing: Helping people change, 3rd Edition. The Guilford Press, New York, NY.

Hello, Wonderful Writers and Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a fun holiday season. 

Are you ready for the new year? Have you solidified your goals? Done up your dream boards for everything 2019 will bring? Do you know what writing and revision projects you’re going to be working on? Yes? Hooray!

Or, are you feeling a little stuck? 

Yeah, that is a thing too. And it can be worse when everyone else around you is feeling empowered and ready to go for the new year. Don’t worry; you’re not alone. (And if you’re among the empowered right now, yay! But keep reading, because this post might come in handy in the future.)

​I, too, have been focusing on my goals and areas of personal and professional growth for 2019. I’m also working on the first revision of my current WIP. For this revision, I have some new scenes to draft, so it’s a mash-up right now. I am going to share something that is hard for me, but my goal with these posts is to not only share strategies for success, but to also be real and share my own struggles.

I’ve had a bit of a rough start to this revision. I hate to say it, but I am just now getting myself out of the dreaded W-word: writer’s block. (Shudder.)

I mean that, but I also mean what I’m going to say next: I DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN WRITER’S BLOCK.

to dismantle Writer’s Block into the different traps that can cause it, and I’ll share ACTION-ORIENTED tips for overcoming each one.

To get a bit more specific, I believe Writer’s Block, which I’ll define as inability to make progress on a WIP (and which I believe is the exact same thing that can happen to anyone who’s struggling to make progress in ANY area of work or life), comes from one or more of any number of basic challenges in MOTIVATION, CONFIDENCE, and/or CLARITY. These things all overlap a quite a bit, and when you’re struggling with one, chances are you’re struggling with more than one. 

Today, I want to start with the basics. 

​Therefore, if we can reconnect with WHY we write, we can change our emotions. We can focus on one or more of our reasons and make those our focus during our next writing session. Instead of wallowing in the muck of I don’t know what I’m doing right now, we can bask in the glow of what brought us to writing to begin with. That creates an entirely new mental and emotional mindset. 

So, your task, if you choose to accept it, is to go and make a list of ALL the reasons—big and small—you chose to be a writer. Then put this list somewhere you can review it often, maybe even every time you sit down to write. Or, this may be an exercise worth doing regularly, literally writing the list on a regular basis. Maybe every week or once a month or any time you feel stuck.

Today’s takeaway is that Writer’s Block isn’t one entity that plagues writers, it’s the symptom of one of many challenges to our MOTIVATION, CONFIDENCE, and/or CLARITY. Remember WHY you write; doing so will create a mental and affective mindset to combat the negative thoughts and emotions associated with being stuck. Starting your writing session from this positive mindset will aid productivity and reduce procrastination.

Stay tuned for my next post in this series when I’ll dig in a little deeper on emotions and how they can be our friend or foe on the writing journey.

Hello, Wonderful Writers!
 
The author journey is long. Long. It takes forever to get an agent. Even when you sign with one, it can take months to years to sell your book. Then you wait for it to come out. And to get the next book deal. In between, there are a lot of things to wait for: people to read and give you feedback, wait times until reveals and announcements, delays in getting an answer so you can move on to something else.
 
This process takes a LONG time.
 
But, it’s not all an endless, sweaty slog along a dusty trail. I swear. There are many bright spots along the way. Today, I want to talk about something else that happens during the writing journey: a bunch of seemingly inconsequential events that actually are really important.
 
I learned this concept as a psychology pre-doctoral intern, leading a CBT psychotherapy group for people in recovery from addiction. One of our therapy concepts was Seemingly Inconsequential Decision: or, the little, unimportant choices we make daily that keep us stuck in a loop that replays our addiction. The decision to get gas here instead of there (because here just happens to be near the market where we buy our cigarettes or the bar we like to stop at after work). The decision to skip a workout, which leaves more time open, which means we might get bored, which increases the chances that we’ll want to hang out with the wrong crowd. In therapy, by helping clients see how these seemingly unimportant events are actually important, they gain greater insight and more muscle to power forward in their recovery.
 
Right now you’re probably like: 1) what does this even have to do with writing? and 2) I thought this was supposed to be motivational; how is this positive?
 
I’m getting there, I swear!

Trail Marker 2: I joined a critique group that I located through those materials. That group wasn’t the best fit for me, so I ended up joining another one, which also wasn’t the best fit for me, so I found another one in the summer of 2013. In that group, I noticed an old friend, the wonderful Cristina Dos Santos, who I’d lost touch with maybe seven years prior, but who was apparently writing. I reached out to her, and she invited me into her writers’ group.
 
Trail Marker 3: That group was the right fit. Those ladies are now some of my best friends. Now, I have all these new best friends!
 
Trail Marker 4: One of them told me about a small press looking for stories for an anthology. So I wrote one, and that ended up being my first accepted story. That wasn’t the end of my journey; getting into an anthology wasn’t my end goal, but it was a fabulous success that motivated me and led to more opportunities. One of the authors on that anthology became one of my current CPs; we still trade manuscripts.​​

I came to writing at a time when I was tired, worn out, burned out. I’d just finished my degree in psychology, which involved many years of classwork, exams, and applying for multiple training positions—many of which required competing against other students for scarce spots. For a decade, I did little for me other than my absolute necessities. I missed sleep, I missed parties, I missed trips. I stayed home when everyone else went and had a good time.

I told myself it was worth it.

And ten, a decade later, I was done, and instead of feeling energized, I was tired. And so I wrote. I wrote not knowing if I’d finish my first book. I wrote not knowing how to write at all, not really, not the way that works for fiction, but I did it anyway. And before that first book was done, I was ready for more and ready to put myself out there. My first queries met with only rejection, which was appropriate—they were terrible—but at that time, I didn’t understand how to make them better. All I knew was that I wasn’t good enough, which was hard. I thought of giving up, but as the stress built—from work, from rejection, from everything else in life—I needed to get it out, and so I wrote.

​Three years in, I finally found my writer tribe, and they taught me SO much. And then life happened, reminding me that utter ruin is just around the corner. No matter how well you prepare and how hard you work, you can still end up with nothing. Then life took people I loved—including my cheerleader—and bestowed disease on people I can’t bear to lose. And the rejections kept coming, as if everything in my life was okay. As if could handle one more letdown. And I coped with the stress the only way I knew how; I wrote. Until the day I didn’t get a no. That day, four years into my journey, I got a yes. 

My first yes.

My mom still had cancer, and the future was still uncertain, but my story was going to be published in a real book, and it was the most incredible moment of my life. Even to this day. I will never forget what that email was like. I had leveled up. New things were now possible. Everything was possible. I’d done it. And I was more motivated than ever, and so I wrote.

I didn’t sleep for about two weeks after that, because every time I tried, that excitement came back. And it was a good thing, because for the first time in over a year, I was not-sleeping for a good reason. The stories filled my brain, and I woke up, tired but exhilarated, and I wrote them. 

That one yes helped ease the no’s that came right after, but then something amazing happened. Another yes. And then another one. And then, a maybe—from an agent. An agent! My first requests came in, and I was sure it was going to happen. It. I’d be a writer. For real. And so I wrote.

Then the big disappointment. The day the call came, but it wasn’t the real call. It was my lowest point of all. Everything that had happened in the months prior came down on me, and it was like all that potential I’d seen had been smoke and mirrors. I cried. Then I stopped. And the info from the call that wasn’t the call was running through my brain, and before the redness had left my eyes and the stuffiness had left my nose, I wrote. 

The possibilities and potential weren’t gone. More good things came. The competition, the call that was the call, then the offer. With these things came more excitement than I can capture in words, but they brought stress and uncertainty and self-comparison and not-measuring-up. At times, I realized that, though six years had passed since I typed the first words, I almost felt like I was in the same place. And so I wrote, because nothing eases the stress of being a writer like writing, like the story in my head.

In mere months, my book will be out, and I have no clue what that road will be like. It will definitely be exciting, and I’m sure I’ll have more sleepless nights—the good ones—but I’m sure I’ll have some of the bad, too. But I’ll be okay, because over the eight years since I started this “hobby,” I’ve learned so much, I’ve met incredible people, and I have a fabulous team behind me (including my mom, who’s doing well!). I can’t control what people will think of my book. All I can control is what I do next. The thing I’m most grateful for is that the writing never stopped being fun, exciting, and energizing. It’s still the thing that gets me through. I really hope people love my book, but if they don’t, there will be another book. I don’t know that, not yet, but I know it all the same. And, in the meantime, I’ll write. Because what else am I going to do?

NB: Last month, I wrote a post about my journey, and this is the same story, but not a story of dates and milestones. In some ways, this is the real story. To all the Wonderful Writers out there, if you’re looking for your cheerleader, let me be it. As long as you’re writing, you’re a writer. As long as you don’t quit, you can’t fail. And, never forget: You can do it! You can write!

​Happy New Year, Wonderful Writers! I took a break from posting during December so I could focus on writing/editing and also enjoy the holidays. I hope you all had a fantastic holiday season and are ready for a new year of writing, reading, and moving forward toward your goals.

The start of a new year is a time when I always stop and think about where I am and how I got here. I often reflect on my path to my first career as a psychologist and all the things I accomplished. My favorite way to do this is to reflect on all the things that I’ve done/achieved or are happening now that weren’t part of my life 1 year ago.

For writing, for example, one year ago, I didn’t have the book deal for my debut novel, TEN AFTER CLOSING. I sit here writing this post on January 8th, and the offer came the evening of January 9th. It’s hard to put myself back to what it felt like to be in that place, waiting to see if my first experience with submission would go well or end in disappointment. Out of all my writing challenges, the hardest time was the interim between my agent telling me we had very strong interest on my book and the day the offer came. 

When I first started writing, which was late 2010, I started as a hobby. I literally had a conversation with myself about how I needed a new hobby, and I thought it would be fun to see if I could write a novel. I finished my first one about a year later, and I already knew I wanted to pursue a career in writing. (You can read my post about how I queried pretty much as soon as I finished that book, even though it was not even close to ready, right here. LOL!) I didn’t start 

long ​as necessary to reach whatever success is waiting for me. But back then, it just felt so daunting. 

- Fall 2010: Started writing November, I think)
- Summer 2011: Told a dear friend I was writing, and she wrote me a note with my favorite inspirational phrase
which will sound familiar if you follow my posts): You can do it! You can write!
- December, 2011: 1) First book done (but not  fully revised; I finished revisions in summer 2015. Starting with book three, my revisions started taking way less time, but my first two books were a hot mess and I still had SO 
much to learn.)  2) First (highly misguided) queries sent.
- January, 2012: Asked a writer, who was a friend of a friend, for some info/resources, and found my first critique
group through SCBWI.
- July, 2013: Connected with my writing group! (YAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!)
- November, 2013: Second book done (but not fully revised; I finished revisions in Feb. 2016).

​So, as you can see, between my first words on that first blank page and:

- First ‘yes’ on anything: just over 4 years
- First book contract: 5.5 years, 
- Agent offer: 5.5 years, 7 books, and 9 short stories
- Contract on TEN AFTER CLOSING: 6.5 years, 9 books, and 9 short stories
- The release of my book BROKEN CHORDS: 7 years, 11 books, & 9 short stories
- The release of my book TEN AFTER CLOSING: almost 8 years, 12+ books (I’m not sure what my drafting schedule will be this 
  Year)

If someone had told me, the day I started my first book, that it would take more than 5 years to get an agent and almost 8 for my first official novel to come out, I doubt I would have been like, “Yeah. Sign me up for THAT, please.” I would maybe have curled up into a ball and cried. I might never have started. 

This has been the most exciting seven years of my life. There were so many milestones along the way. Meeting new people, learning new things, small successes. Yes, there was a lot of stress, waiting, and the challenge of so many rejections. If I put all my rejections into this time line, we’d have AT LEAST 120 additional bullets. AT LEAST. But still, it’s been an amazing seven years. It’s been more fulfilling, rewarding, and FUN than I would have ever imagined. 

I love writing, and I can’t even picture what my life would be like today if I hadn’t had that conversation with myself about needing a new hobby (or if I picked something other than fiction like, say, knitting. Hmm… Yeah. That would have been different, but I’d probably have a lot of cool sweaters and blankets by now.)

So, no matter where you are on your writing journey, I wish you success, but more than anything, I hope you are having FUN! And remember, the only way to fail, is to stop before you reach your goals. 

You can do it! You can write!

Hello, Wonderful Writers!
 
It’s NaNoWriMo time! If you’re a writer and you’re reading this, you probably know what NaNoWriMo is. If not, here goes: November is National Novel Writers’ Month, and each year, all November long, writers all over the world commit to completing the first draft of a manuscript, usually 50-thousand words long, though some of us commit to longer works. The web community around NaNo is super fun, and if you’re a writer who isn’t familiar with it yet, definitely check it out.
 
I’ve been doing NaNo for a few years now, and I spent the last couple weeks of October getting my next WIP all plotted and set up in Scrivener so I was able to jump in and start writing on November 1st. This process, which is something I do for all new MSs, got me thinking about plotting versus pantsing.
 
I know this is one of the hottest debates writers can have, and I’m not here to try to lure anyone over to the side of the Jedis (*cough plotter cough*). Seriously, though, as a die-hard plotter, I wanted to share a perspective that has been on my mind for some time. Plotters are pantsers who do their pantsing before they sit down to start a draft.

So, for my plotting friends out there, next time someone asks you the dreaded question, just tell them you’re both. Because plotters are just pantsers who do the pantsing before they sit down in front of that blank page.
 
Good luck to all of you doing NaNoWriMo 2017. I hope you all “win!” See you on the other side.
 
And, as always, I will end with the motto spoken to me by my dear friend, who has been gone for over four years now (which I actually can’t believe): You can do it! You can write!