Jessica Bayliss
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It's a Writer Thing: Why I Write

2/24/2018

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I came to writing at a time when I was tired, worn out, burned out. I’d just finished my degree in psychology, which involved many years of classwork, exams, and applying for multiple training positions—many of which required competing against other students for scarce spots. For a decade, I did little for me other than my absolute necessities. I missed sleep, I missed parties, I missed trips. I stayed home when everyone else went and had a good time.

I told myself it was worth it.

And ten, a decade later, I was done, and instead of feeling energized, I was tired. And so I wrote. I wrote not knowing if I’d finish my first book. I wrote not knowing how to write at all, not really, not the way that works for fiction, but I did it anyway. And before that first book was done, I was ready for more and ready to put myself out there. My first queries met with only rejection, which was appropriate—they were terrible—but at that time, I didn’t understand how to make them better. All I knew was that I wasn’t good enough, which was hard. I thought of giving up, but as the stress built—from work, from rejection, from everything else in life—I needed to get it out, and so I wrote.
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​Critique groups are hard. You go to get feedback, critiques, which, by definition, focus on the things you’re doing wrong. All I wanted was to be told, You can do it! You can write! But I got track-changes and properly-paced commas; and I lost filler and filter words. And I lost my voice. I came home one day, frustrated and beaten down, and my husband asked why I kept doing it if it made me unhappy, and I said that I didn’t know. I was done.

But.

The next morning, my chair was waiting, and my coffee was hot, and my computer was charged, and I sat down, and I wrote. My husband was surprised, he thought I quit, but I only shrugged. “What else am I going to do?” And so I wrote.

Eventually, I got that You can do it! You can write! but not from fellow writers. It came from someone who believed in me even though she had zero reason to believe in me. I hadn’t proved a thing to her, but that didn’t matter. She believed, and so I wrote.
​Three years in, I finally found my writer tribe, and they taught me SO much. And then life happened, reminding me that utter ruin is just around the corner. No matter how well you prepare and how hard you work, you can still end up with nothing. Then life took people I loved—including my cheerleader—and bestowed disease on people I can’t bear to lose. And the rejections kept coming, as if everything in my life was okay. As if could handle one more letdown. And I coped with the stress the only way I knew how; I wrote. Until the day I didn’t get a no. That day, four years into my journey, I got a yes. 

My first yes.

My mom still had cancer, and the future was still uncertain, but my story was going to be published in a real book, and it was the most incredible moment of my life. Even to this day. I will never forget what that email was like. I had leveled up. New things were now possible. Everything was possible. I’d done it. And I was more motivated than ever, and so I wrote.

I didn’t sleep for about two weeks after that, because every time I tried, that excitement came back. And it was a good thing, because for the first time in over a year, I was not-sleeping for a good reason. The stories filled my brain, and I woke up, tired but exhilarated, and I wrote them. 

That one yes helped ease the no’s that came right after, but then something amazing happened. Another yes. And then another one. And then, a maybe—from an agent. An agent! My first requests came in, and I was sure it was going to happen. It. I’d be a writer. For real. And so I wrote.

Then the big disappointment. The day the call came, but it wasn’t the real call. It was my lowest point of all. Everything that had happened in the months prior came down on me, and it was like all that potential I’d seen had been smoke and mirrors. I cried. Then I stopped. And the info from the call that wasn’t the call was running through my brain, and before the redness had left my eyes and the stuffiness had left my nose, I wrote. 
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The possibilities and potential weren’t gone. More good things came. The competition, the call that was the call, then the offer. With these things came more excitement than I can capture in words, but they brought stress and uncertainty and self-comparison and not-measuring-up. At times, I realized that, though six years had passed since I typed the first words, I almost felt like I was in the same place. And so I wrote, because nothing eases the stress of being a writer like writing, like the story in my head.

In mere months, my book will be out, and I have no clue what that road will be like. It will definitely be exciting, and I’m sure I’ll have more sleepless nights—the good ones—but I’m sure I’ll have some of the bad, too. But I’ll be okay, because over the eight years since I started this “hobby,” I’ve learned so much, I’ve met incredible people, and I have a fabulous team behind me (including my mom, who’s doing well!). I can’t control what people will think of my book. All I can control is what I do next. The thing I’m most grateful for is that the writing never stopped being fun, exciting, and energizing. It’s still the thing that gets me through. I really hope people love my book, but if they don’t, there will be another book. I don’t know that, not yet, but I know it all the same. And, in the meantime, I’ll write. Because what else am I going to do?

NB: Last month, I wrote a post about my journey, and this is the same story, but not a story of dates and milestones. In some ways, this is the real story. To all the Wonderful Writers out there, if you’re looking for your cheerleader, let me be it. As long as you’re writing, you’re a writer. As long as you don’t quit, you can’t fail. And, never forget: You can do it! You can write!
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BROKEN CHORDS is now an award-winning book!

2/4/2018

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When I entered BROKEN CHORDS into this competition, I had zero expectations. Let's just say I've entered a couple book contests in my day. But, my book took an honorable mention! What a fabulous surprise! As this is a horror novella, I'm extra proud as genre fiction can sometimes get lost in the mix, and I love this book so much. (I know I'm a little biased.) 

Get your copy of BROKEN CHORDS here (PAPERBACK and digital editions now available).

​And don't forget, if you're in the Palm Beach, FL area on February 18th, come see me, four other debut authors, and the legendary R. L. Stine at Palm Beach Peril where we'll be doing a panel presentation followed by a book signing (my FIRST book signing! Squee!) I hope to see you there. Find out more about this event HERE.
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TEN AFTER CLOSING has a brand, shiny new cover (and I LOVE it!)

1/26/2018

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Sometimes, in the life of a book, the publisher decides to go back to the drawing board on the cover concept, even if the book hasn't been released yet. And that's what happened to my book, TEN AFTER CLOSING. I loved my old cover, but I LOVE my new cover. The artist is Kevin Tong, and he's FABULOUS!

​So, here it is, the new cover for TEN AFTER CLOSING. 
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Pre-Order TEN AFTER CLOSING: http://bit.ly/TACBAYLS


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Come see me and R. L. Stine in Delray Beach FL on 2/18/18

1/22/2018

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Holy MOLY, I'm going to be on an author panel next month. And it's with R. L. Stine. I DEVOURED Fear Street books when I was a YA reader, and I still have a couple of my favorites on my shelf. I can't believe I'll get to meet one of the authors that inspired my writing and be part of a pane discussion with him and four other debut authors! 

For more info, check out the Palm Beach Library Group page for the event. And I hope to see you there! I'll have swag, a special giveaway, and a TEASER for my upcoming release, TEN AFTER CLOSING.
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It's a Writer Thing Post #20: Looking back

1/8/2018

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​Happy New Year, Wonderful Writers! I took a break from posting during December so I could focus on writing/editing and also enjoy the holidays. I hope you all had a fantastic holiday season and are ready for a new year of writing, reading, and moving forward toward your goals.

The start of a new year is a time when I always stop and think about where I am and how I got here. I often reflect on my path to my first career as a psychologist and all the things I accomplished. My favorite way to do this is to reflect on all the things that I’ve done/achieved or are happening now that weren’t part of my life 1 year ago.
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For writing, for example, one year ago, I didn’t have the book deal for my debut novel, TEN AFTER CLOSING. I sit here writing this post on January 8th, and the offer came the evening of January 9th. It’s hard to put myself back to what it felt like to be in that place, waiting to see if my first experience with submission would go well or end in disappointment. Out of all my writing challenges, the hardest time was the interim between my agent telling me we had very strong interest on my book and the day the offer came. 

When I first started writing, which was late 2010, I started as a hobby. I literally had a conversation with myself about how I needed a new hobby, and I thought it would be fun to see if I could write a novel. I finished my first one about a year later, and I already knew I wanted to pursue a career in writing. (You can read my post about how I queried pretty much as soon as I finished that book, even though it was not even close to ready, right here. LOL!) I didn’t start 
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to really connect with other writers with professional goals until 2012, and I met my writing group in 2013. At that time, because of them (I <3 you, Novelists!!!!), I began to learn a ton about the industry, and it’s around then that I read my first How I Got My Agent/Book Deal posts. I remember reading posts from authors where it took them five years, or a decade, or 5, 7, 10 books to get from start to agent offer, and I was like, “Wow! That’s a long time. I don’t think I can do that. I’d probably give up.”

Shame on me! Now, I know better. ​

​I love writing so much, I’m ready to stick it out as 
long ​as necessary to reach whatever success is waiting for me. But back then, it just felt so daunting. 

​And here I am, ready to do the math. So, how long did it take me? 

- Fall 2010: Started writing November, I think)
- Summer 2011: Told a dear friend I was writing, and she wrote me a note with my favorite inspirational phrase
which will sound familiar if you follow my posts): You can do it! You can write!
- December, 2011: 1) First book done (but not  fully revised; I finished revisions in summer 2015. Starting with book three, my revisions started taking way less time, but my first two books were a hot mess and I still had SO 
much to learn.)  2) First (highly misguided) queries sent.
- January, 2012: Asked a writer, who was a friend of a friend, for some info/resources, and found my first critique
group through SCBWI.
- July, 2013: Connected with my writing group! (YAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!)
- November, 2013: Second book done (but not fully revised; I finished revisions in Feb. 2016).
(Here’s where things heat up because I started plotting.)
- August, 2014: wrote first short story. I won’t break down all my stories on this time line, but between then and 
mid-2016, I wrote nine.
- November, 2014: First attempt at NaNo. Third book done.
- December, 2014: 1) First short story accepted AND 2) this is when I began my website and social media presence.
- January, 2015: Actually started getting requests on my queries.
- March, 2015: My first short story was published. (Hooray!)
- April, 2015: BEWARE THE LITTLE WHITE RABBIT is out!
- May, 2015: BREATHLESS IS OUT!
- June, 2015: Fourth book
- July, 2015: Offer from a small press on book number four.
- August, 2015: 1) Fifth book (TEN AFTER CLOSING). 2) Heard an audio book recording of my story for BEWARE THE LITTLE WHITE RABBIT (Happy tears. A lot.)
- September, 2015: Revise and Resubmit! (AHH!) But no offer.
- November, 2015: Sixth book done (BROKEN CHORDS) AND FRIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS is out!
- January, 2016: Seventh book
- February, 2016:  1) Found out Three World Press was closing so bye-bye BREATHLESS and book number 4. (Sad tears. A lot.) 2) Offer on BROKEN CHORDS (Holy moly!!!). 3) Accepted into Pitch2Publication (So much excitement, I thought I might die.).
- May, 2016: I GOT AN OFFER FROM A DREAM AGENT!!!! And we went on submission (GAH!).
- August, 2016: Eighth book
- November, 2016: Ninth book
- January, 2017: We got an offer on TEN AFTER CLOSING (Hooray!!!!!!!)
- February, 2017: Tenth book
- May, 2017: Self-published BREATHLESS.
- July, 2017: Eleventh book
- October, 2017: BROKEN CHORDS is out. (AHH!!!!!!)
- November, 2017: Twelfth book
- June, 2018: TEN AFTER CLOSING will be out.

I’ve never written this out before, and I’m sort of sitting here, letting it sink in. Mind=blown.
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​So, as you can see, between my first words on that first blank page and:

- First ‘yes’ on anything: just over 4 years
- First book contract: 5.5 years, 
- Agent offer: 5.5 years, 7 books, and 9 short stories
- Contract on TEN AFTER CLOSING: 6.5 years, 9 books, and 9 short stories
- The release of my book BROKEN CHORDS: 7 years, 11 books, & 9 short stories
- The release of my book TEN AFTER CLOSING: almost 8 years, 12+ books (I’m not sure what my drafting schedule will be this 
  Year)

If someone had told me, the day I started my first book, that it would take more than 5 years to get an agent and almost 8 for my first official novel to come out, I doubt I would have been like, “Yeah. Sign me up for THAT, please.” I would maybe have curled up into a ball and cried. I might never have started. 
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​BUT, when I think about the ride getting here, it DOESN’T FEEL THAT LONG! 

This has been the most exciting seven years of my life. There were so many milestones along the way. Meeting new people, learning new things, small successes. Yes, there was a lot of stress, waiting, and the challenge of so many rejections. If I put all my rejections into this time line, we’d have AT LEAST 120 additional bullets. AT LEAST. But still, it’s been an amazing seven years. It’s been more fulfilling, rewarding, and FUN than I would have ever imagined. 

I love writing, and I can’t even picture what my life would be like today if I hadn’t had that conversation with myself about needing a new hobby (or if I picked something other than fiction like, say, knitting. Hmm… Yeah. That would have been different, but I’d probably have a lot of cool sweaters and blankets by now.)

So, no matter where you are on your writing journey, I wish you success, but more than anything, I hope you are having FUN! And remember, the only way to fail, is to stop before you reach your goals. 

You can do it! You can write!
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Happy 2018!

1/8/2018

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I've been promoted!

11/11/2017

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When author and founder of ALLEGORY Magazine, Ty Drago, invited me to be an associate editor, I never imagined how much I'd enjoy reading authors' work. The best part, though, is finding those fabulous stories and getting to share with an author that their story is being forwarded on to the next stage. It is almost as exciting typing those words to another writer as it is seeing those words written to me. And now, I've been promoted to Senior Editor. I look forward to many great issues of Allegory

So, if you've got short, speculative fiction (horror, sci-fi, fantasy) with compelling characters and strong narratives, we want them. For more information on our submission process and to read the latest issue, check us out at: http://www.allegoryezine.com/mainpage.htm.

And thanks to Ty for giving me this opportunity!
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It's a Writer Thing 18: On Plotters & Pantsers

11/2/2017

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Hello, Wonderful Writers!
 
It’s NaNoWriMo time! If you’re a writer and you’re reading this, you probably know what NaNoWriMo is. If not, here goes: November is National Novel Writers’ Month, and each year, all November long, writers all over the world commit to completing the first draft of a manuscript, usually 50-thousand words long, though some of us commit to longer works. The web community around NaNo is super fun, and if you’re a writer who isn’t familiar with it yet, definitely check it out.
 
I’ve been doing NaNo for a few years now, and I spent the last couple weeks of October getting my next WIP all plotted and set up in Scrivener so I was able to jump in and start writing on November 1st. This process, which is something I do for all new MSs, got me thinking about plotting versus pantsing.
 
I know this is one of the hottest debates writers can have, and I’m not here to try to lure anyone over to the side of the Jedis (*cough plotter cough*). Seriously, though, as a die-hard plotter, I wanted to share a perspective that has been on my mind for some time. Plotters are pantsers who do their pantsing before they sit down to start a draft.
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​Yes, you read me right: plotters are pantsers.
 
How can this be? Pantsers understand the beauty of choosing a starting point and maybe a mile marker and then letting the glorious muse lead them there by paths unknown and, sometimes, never before charted; while plotters are rigid, soul-crushed individuals who need order and structure and want to know the end before the beginning is even on the page yet. But seriously, plotters are pantsers.
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Click here to order BROKEN CHORDS.
What do you think us plotters are doing when we’re coming up with our plots?
 
When I’m thinking through my next WIP, I spend a ton of time playing out the story in my head, or in conversation with my hubby who is the BEST plotting partner EVER, letting different ideas emerge and shift and grow and evolve. Before there is a final version all ready to go into my Scrivener file as an outline or a synopsis, there is an unformed story-swirl cavorting in my head. It starts as a tangled knot which I somehow manage to tame into something linear and ordered and lovely—the Virgo in me is cheering right now—but even my order-craving Virgo heart loves the process of untangling that knot.
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I love the thrill of not knowing what will happen. I love how pieces come together, sometimes one decision being the all-important key to some other plot-point a little further down the road. I love the moment when the final piece clicks into place. As I write this, I’m still waiting for that to happen for my current WIP. Yes, I’m a plotter, and I don’t yet know exactly how my book will end, but that’s okay. I’ll figure it out as I go, as any good pantser does.
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So, for my plotting friends out there, next time someone asks you the dreaded question, just tell them you’re both. Because plotters are just pantsers who do the pantsing before they sit down in front of that blank page.
 
Good luck to all of you doing NaNoWriMo 2017. I hope you all “win!” See you on the other side.
 
And, as always, I will end with the motto spoken to me by my dear friend, who has been gone for over four years now (which I actually can’t believe): You can do it! You can write!
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Happy Book Birthday: BROKEN CHORDS, by me!

10/9/2017

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AHHH! BROKEN CHORDS is now out in the world! I can't even believe it. I started plotting the book two years ago, in preparation for NaNoWriMo in 2015. In fact, I specifically wrote it to meet requirements for a call from Leap Books. For a short time only, they'd take submissions from non-agented authors, but only for their Bloody Good Reads series. The books had to be stand-alone YA horror for Leap Books Shine, their novella line, so that's what I wrote. When I sent the story in, I was still a good month away from being accepted into the Pitch2Publication competition and around four months out from the day I signed with my fabulous agent. Needless to say, when editor, Judith Graves, send me an offer on this book, I was thrilled. 

Buy BROKEN CHORDS

Amazon  /  Kobo  /  SmashWords 
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​And here we are, literally two years after my brain first started churning around Lenny and Jeb's story, and BROKEN CHORDS is ready for readers. I am so excited for people to read this. I want to say a HUGE thank you to Judith and the other folks at Leap Books for making this such a beautiful book and such a wonderful experience.

Here's a little sneak peek for you.

    Jeb’s voice ebbed and flowed, his fear growing and sending out seedlings of dread to take root in my own chest. He must have woken the entire camp by now. I fumbled open my tent flap, stumbled outside, and zipped it shut with trembling hands. When I turned around, I knew immediately why no one put a stop to Jeb’s calls.
     He wasn’t in the normal world anymore.
     Neither was I.
     Despite not asking for it, something twisted and bitter in this universe had bestowed it anyway. We’d been transported to the astral plane. The world was bathed in dark beauty, like velvety gauze or some tranquil digital camera filter, making everything hazy and wavery with dim blue-white light. I could actually see the air – or matter or ether or whatever it was--that made up the world around me. When I waved my hand, contrails showed its swishing progress long after I’d ceased movement. Like, whatever I was made of in this form could interact with the very construction material holding this universe together. Or, maybe whatever I was made of in this form was the very construction material of this universe.
     “Oh God,” I whispered. 
     That meant, behind me, within the tent I’d just fled, my body lay prone. Not in sleep, and not a trance. Not dead, but not really alive either. 
     An empty shell. 
     I stared at the dark green vinyl before finally getting up the nerve to look inside. My body lay on my air mattress, curled up as if I were merely sleeping. My chest rose and fell as my organs responded to signals from the most primitive part of my brain, which kept the basic functions of human life online even though the system user had abandoned the controls.
     I breathed in time with my body. I wasn’t sure if I was really moving air around in my spectral form, but the reflex to carry out the action was strong, and it still felt soothing when I blew what might be nothing out of lungs that probably weren’t there anyway. I took another deep, fake breath and closed my eyes. My brain attempted to point out the ridiculousness of this – how I still felt normal even though I was nothing but a ghost now. A spasm of laughter escaped my throat, but I swallowed it down. If I let my mind think too hard about things like where? and what? and how?, I’d crack. Game over.
     Instead, I chanted Jeb’s mantra: “Just go with it.” Then I turned to face the astral plane.
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Countdown to BROKEN CHORDS!

10/7/2017

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BROKEN CHORDS launches with Leap Books in TWO days! In honor of the release, I'm holding a giveaway for a free copy and some swag. 
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